Notables Painting Competition - We have a winner

The third Notables or Flintloque painting competition has finished and we have a winner - Tony Harwood or Dampfpanzerwagon, yes, me! I was notified yesterday evening and now need to contact Alternative Armies to arrange my competition prize.

The images below show the winning entry and the background story, which was also a condition of the entry. I hope you enjoy reading the Fencibles regimental history as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The Local Defence Volunteers or Kyngs Own Royal (Home) Guard also known as the ‘Fighting Pussycats’

In an attempt to raise a regiment of ‘home guard’ the Kyngs Own Royal Guard was formed from able bodied Orcs to defend the exposed coast of Albion from the threat of Ferach invasion. Due to long-standing army rules and regulations The Kyngs Own Guard was initially planned and raised to be an Albion or home based regiment only, these Defencibles, later known as Fencibles served without distinction in the area of Warmonger on Sea.

In particular the Kyngs Own Guard allowed older and younger Orcs plus those not deemed able to be included in a fully fit fighting regiment to take part in the defence of Albion. The Fencibles were used in many different ways, but traditionally the Home Guard saw little in the way of ‘real action’. There are many stories of ‘friendly manoeuvres’ or training missions most of which ended in mishap or downright total chaos!

The Kyngs Own was initially called the Local Defence Volunteers Force but following a visit from Kyng Georgie Porgie who was looking to relocate his Summer Palace in a seaside beach hut, the LDV’s were of great use to the Kyng – helping him to tow the new canvas palace back up the beach and away from the incoming tyde, they were renamed The Kings Own Guard and later The Kyngs Own Royal Guard when Captain Manewearer offered to buy the Kyng a Cornetto (the ice-cream not a new, small crown) the Kyng was so impressed with the new-fangled iced-cream that he declared it ‘truly royal icing!’

The small platoon is detailed here;

Captain (Georgie ‘Little Napoleon’) Manewearer – Sword and swagger stick

A pompous and well meaning bespectacled money-lender, who has taken overall control not because of experience or past heroic deeds, but mainly as he is the only volunteer who has an officers uniform! An Officers uniform that includes all the detail and trappings of a full Albion Orc Major.

Sergeant Artful Wilsome (Uncle Arfu) – Orc Bessy

A dutiful and very well bred money lender clerk who works with Manewearer during the day and acts as Sergeant when volunteering in the Fencibles. Wilsome served as a Captain in the pre-black-powder era prior to retirement but is happy acting as second fiddle to Manewearer, sometimes (politely) questioning his decisions “do you think that is wise?

Lance Corporal ‘Onsey’ – Orc Bessy and bayonet (extra long for getting it up em!)

The oldest member of the group who now suffers from acute gout was born many years before the Ferach threat - bravely serving as a young drummer boy in the army of the Kitchener. Onsey works full time, as the local butcher and is famed for his archaic weapons, his favourite being an extra long bayonet with which he has been known to scream “they don’t like it up em!”

Private (We’re Doomed) Frazier – Modified blunderbuss which fires grenades

A coffin maker by profession and a Rat by birth. Frazier is notoriously dour and depressing, (who sometimes wears his tricorne to funerals and his undertakers hat on duty). He is openly rebellious, but ultimately loyal. His previous military service was as a cook on a small battleship.

Private (Stupid Boy) Spike – Orc Bessy

The youngest Orc in the platoon and regularly ‘molly-coddled’ by his old Mum, who insists that he wears his hand knitted and colourful scarf plus matching sock puppet (used to keep the barrel of his gun clean and dust free!) Private Spike lives with his Mum and Uncle Arfu.

Private Joe Walker – Orc Bessy

The only able bodied member of the whole group - excused overseas service due to his allergy to ‘Bullied Beef’. Joe is a natural scrounger and is regularly able to ‘pick up’ material and equipment that would normally be totally un-obtainable! There is little that Joe would not do to earn a few bob. Joe always seems to be puffing on a well worn and crumply ‘ciggy’.

Private Godfrey - Sword

A Conscientious Objector and martyr to his weak bladder – Godfrey refuses to take up Black Powder arms but acts as the unit standard bearer and medic. Godfrey is not against threatening to dispatch ill or injured soldiers with his sword, believing that he is acting humanely and in the best interest of his patients!

The Kyngs Own Royal Guard wear a more traditional uniform of tricorne, gaiters and brass buckled shoes, but carry a full regimental banner, in recollection of the ‘good turn’ shown to the Kyng on his earlier seaside visit (the standard carries the battle honour Seaside Rescue, embroidered below the regimental badge). The platoon ‘favours’ of a green bow which is worn in the tricorne were lovingly made by Cissy, Private Godfrey’s sister, from some spare curtain material. They are armed with whatever weapons they can scrounge or modify, but are always full of good intentions. Sometimes known as the ‘Fighting Pussycats or Old Pussycats’- I’m never quite sure if this is a compliment or an insult.

Captain Mainwearer is a stickler for detail and tries his very best. However due to total incompetence or pure bad luck he is very rarely successful at maintaining order and it is a blessing that in the short lifetime of the Warmonger on Sea platoon, they have never actually killed anyone (friend or foe).

It is rare that an Albion Regiment does not have a motto or battle cry, but with Onsey managing to shout down any suggestions the default “They don’t like it up em!” seems to work well.

Any resemblance to persons living, dead or imagined is purely incidental! I wonder if you can recognise the characters this platoon is based on?

I had great fun converting, painting and writing the character background, and was very pleased to have won the competition.

Tony