Foul Mouth Freddy Sneaks past the ****ing Guards

Illustration by Edward Jackson

Scours, Speeds and Sneaks, part three

Foul Mouth Freddy Sneaks past the ****ing Guards

by Tony Harwood and Craig Andrews

After a night of drinking and debauchery and a race across the countryside avoiding local bandits and vicious Ogre provosts Freddy must now sneak back into the Albion Orc camp before they find out he's been out on the razzle in the local town of Burrow Port...

Will he find what he has lost and make it back to camp in time for roll call?

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You can find the first scenario of this campaign here, and the second here.

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In case you missed them:

In the first scenario of the Scours, Speeds and Sneaks mini-campaign, Freddy had to search the town of Burrow Port looking for his commander's beloved horse and the regimental Busby, having lost both of them the night before in a drink fuelled haze...

In the second scenario, Freddy had to race across the countryside past local bandits and the ever vigilante Provosts to get back to camp before Roll Call....

I give you the conclusion of "Scours, Speeds and Sneaks"...

Campaign Objective Update

Having searched Burrow Port and high-tailed it through the forest Freddy now has to get Sheer Guard (if he has him) back into the stables, the Busby (if he has it) back on the regimental standard and back to his tent to deposit any remaining loot (if he has any) all before roll call at 12 noon.

Any loot Freddy found in the first scenario (and didn't throw away as distractions in the second) can be used in this scenario, see the 'Being Spotted!' section below.

Don't forget that roll call takes place 30 turns after the campaign begins so be sure to keep track of how many turns go by in this scenario, adding them onto the total from the first two.

Notes on Playing this Scenario

The scenario below only takes about an hour to play through. Don’t forget that Freddy is still against the clock. The scenario plays well either solitaire or with someone controlling the Orcs in the camp. As with any of Freddy’s tales of adventure, the re-telling of each tale washed down with rotgut brandy by a roaring fire leads to different endings. Who knows if the one in which you control Freddy for is the real story or just a variation on the original?

Introduction

Bo****ks! It wasn't looking good. Barely any bl***y time to get the bl***y horse and bl***dy hat back to where they should be let alone get back to his bl***dy tent before they blow the bl***dy roll call horn. Ah well, tighter scrapes than this had not ensnared Freddy and his light footed step. Time to put all that bl***dy practice sneaking around to good bl***y use.

Map and Set Up

The table should be setup to represent an Albion Army encampment and the woods surrounding it. A selection of small and large tents should be arranged on the table top so they make a believable looking army camp covering roughly 72cm x 72cm in the centre of the table surrounded by trees. Then you must place Freddy’s three objectives on the table top as well. These should be placed by the player not playing Freddy and should be at least 36cm away from each other. The three objectives are the stables, the stone building and last of all Freddy’s tent. Freddy starts outside the camp boundary at any place chosen by his player. There are ten guards, these can be placed anywhere within the camp.

Scenario Forces

Foul Mouth Freddy
Veteran Orc Sergeant.
Freddy starts the scenario unarmed as he didn’t think to bring his musket out boozing with him.
Skill: Loud and Foul Mouth - Freddy has a coarse tongue and uses it often and well, In melee all mortal enemies suffer a -2 to their melee roll when fighting him.
Trait: Daisy Roots – Due to the size of his large previously-owned-by-an-Ogre boots Freddy gets +1 Impact when he wins a melee.
Flaw: Sauce – As per the rulebook.

The Guards – There are ten guards, they are all Orcs armed with muskets (although these are only used as melee weapons against our Freddy). Their individual experience level is not known until one of them discovers Freddy (as per the Being Spotted rules below). At which point draw a token as per the solitaire rules to determine their experience level.

Scenario Special Rules

Freddy – No stranger to sneaking back into camp, having done so more times than he can bl***y count during his 'colourful' military career, has let a few dodo decoys loose to cover his tracks. Freddy's player has ten identical tokens under his control at the start of the game, one of which is marked as Freddy. All the tokens are placed on the boundary of the camp. Each of them moves as per Freddy's racial statistics and each one rolls for sneaking as normal (rules below). Once spotted a counter is flipped over, if it's a dodo decoy it is removed from the table and replaced with a dodo miniature (or suitable tokens if you have no Dodos, we all know how rare Dodos are!).

Sheer Guard – Whilst leading the Colonel's prize horse though the camp Freddy (and his decoys) can move at no more than Slow March. Luckily Sheer Guard is a very well trained horse and makes very little noise.

Sneaking – The art of sneaking is the subject of an entire Distractions and Asides Flintloque rules supplement (No. 4 in fact, eloquently titled Sneaking About, which can be found in full on Orcs in the Webbe). A slightly modified for 3rd Edition version of those rules are reproduced below. The decoy system above replaces the 'Sneaky Starting Point' system from the original rules but the spotting table is used as more or less as normal. Sneaking is tough work and avoiding detection is hard to do. Each time Freddy or one of his cunning Dodo decoys (see below) moves you must roll a D100 at the end of its movement path for its sneaking roll. There are modifiers to this; as it is broad daylight (-20%) and Freddy is a Veteran (+10%) every roll receives a -10% modifier plus any applicable modifier below:

Movement path passed within 20cm of a sentry: -10%
Movement path passed within 10cm of a sentry: -20%
Movement path passed within 5cm of a sentry: -35%

As Freddy is bl***y good at sneaking he is not limited to Half Step March (Falter in the original sneaking rules) but suffers additional modifiers to the sneaking roll for moving faster.

Moved at Slow March: -5%
Moved at Quick March: -10%
Moved at Double March: -15%

One additional modifier is if Freddy is leading Sheer Guard, he receives an additional -10% modifier and cannot move within 20cm of a sentry.

Freddy just has to move into base to base contact with a building and use one special action to 'drop off' both the horse and/or the Busby. Once done he only has to move into his tent to win the scenario.

The Guards – All the soldiers in the camp are still quarantined in their tents leaving the camp relatively deserted despite it being mid-morning. There are pickets around the camp however, as well as guards placed in several important places. After all who'd trust an Albion soldier to stay in his tent and behave during quarantine.

How you control the guards depends on how many players you have:

If you have three players then one person acts as the Umpire and all guard movements are carried out as normal on the tabletop and Freddy (and his Dodo decoys) are moved in secret by telling the Umpire each turn. All the rules from below apply but Freddy and the Dodos are not put into play until discovered.

If there are two players then the rules are used as below but each turn the guard player must write down the actions for each guard before each turn begins, as well as in which order they will act. These instruction should be written clearly e.g. Move forwards 10cm then turn right 90 degrees etc). He can only deviate from these instructions if Freddy is sighted and a shout is given (see Being Spotted below).

If you are playing the scenario solo then each turn every guard moves 1D20cms in a random direction, their order is determined randomly. If a dodo decoy (or Freddy) has moved within 15cms during the turn they will be the next to activate and will move 20cms towards it.

Being Spotted !

As you may have surmised sneaking back into the Albion camp is not going to be easy. It's broad daylight and Freddy's leading a horse for starters. When discovered Freddy can be engaged in melee by any guard that can activate and move into base to base contact with him. If Freddy manages to move off before a guard can get into base to base contact then he is free to carry on moving. If the guard wins the combat scoring any hits then Freddy has been subdued and this retelling of the tale has ended. However if he wins the combat he can avoid being written up on a charge by slipping the guard a trinket or two, if he has nothing with which to bribe this too ends his tale this day. Depending on the experience level of the guard different amounts of trinkets are required.

Raw: 1 Trinket
Average: 2 Trinkets
Experienced: 3 Trinkets
Veteran: 4 Trinkets

Freddy may also have some rotgut brandy left over, he can attempt to use this to bribe the guards but must make a roll on the tipple table found in Distractions & Asides: The Demon Drinke available here on Barking Irons. Guards suffer the affects as normal but are also considered bribed if they achieve the following result:

Raw: Not Bad or worse
Average: Rosy or worse
Experienced: Sozzed or worse
Veteran: Mangled or worse

Author's Notes on the Scours, Speeds and Sneaks Campaign

Uncle Fred had been banned from most of the pubs in the Sandfields, - his local drinking haunts. The latest plan was to use his newly acquired Puch moped (50cc’s and peddle power) to motor down to a newly opened Students Union bar – the beer was cheap, there were ‘fresher week offers’ and he had yet to blot his copy book with the steward! The only problem – was that the UK government has recently passed a law stating that safety helmets had to be worn. Fred had no such crash helmet and so he pinched his sons skateboard helmet, a bright orange plastic hat that sat on top of his head like an egg cup on a football to ride the moped!

The journey back was even more eventful as he was so drunk he drove down the seaside promenade instead of the main road! What would have happened if he was caught by the local police is anyone’s guess although I can picture him peddling for all his worth as the Puch had a top speed limited to just 30mph!

These three scenarios are based upon actual events – just the location has been changed to protect the not-so innocent!

I would also like to thank Craig Andrews, Editor of Barking Irons, for helping to ‘flesh-out’ and editing the original back-story and scenarios, he has turned sketchy notes into a truly fantastic story and modified (or made up) rules to fit in with Freddy’s latest adventure, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Miniatures for your Collection

VLE09 Foul Mouth Freddy
This code is limited to only 250 packs before the master and molds are destroyed. Supplied with numbered insert containing optional rules and uniform guide. This ninth code in the Very Limited Edition range is, like the others, limited to 250 numbered packs only.

Foul Mouth Freddy is currently available now from Alternative Armies webstore.

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This article was originaly published on Alternative Armies' content portal, Barking Irons, and later Orcs in the Webbe. All of Freddy's adventures can be found tucked away on Craig Andrew's Orcs in the Webbe - check out this link.

I have been promising myself for some time that I would re-post Freddy's adventures onto this Blog. I am doing this for two reasons; firstly - there maybe some who have missed these short stories/scenarios and might find them of interest, secondly - I felt that I had more control over this Blog than OITW, after all Craig has in the past commented that he might close this portal down. If this happened then the Foul Mouth Freddy (and other adventures) would be lost to the Flintloque gamer.

Tony

Foul Mouth Freddy Speeds through the ****ing Forest

Illustration by Edward Jackson

Scours, Speeds and Sneaks - part two

Foul Mouth Freddy Speeds through the ****ing Forest

Part Two in this Flintloque three part scenario

After a night of drinking and debauchery, having searched the town for the regimental busby and his Colonel's prize horse, Freddy must race across the countryside avoiding local bandits and vicious Ogre provosts.

Will he find what he has lost and make it back to camp in time for roll call?

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You can find the first scenario of this campaign here.

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Campaign Objective Update

Having searched Burrow Port Foul Mouth Freddy now has to get back to camp before noon roll call by whatever means, or he is going to be in very serious trouble.

Any loot Freddy found in the last scenario can be used in this scenario, see the 'Freddy's Loot' section below.

Don't forget that roll call takes place 30 turns after the campaign begans so be sure to keep track of how many turns go by in this scenario, adding them onto the total from the first one.

Notes on Playing this Scenario

The scenario below only takes about an hour to play through. Don’t forget that Freddy is still against the clock to get back to camp, engaging every enemy would take too bl**dy long (not to mention be too bl**dy dangerous). The scenario plays well either solitaire or with someone controlling the forces trying to catch dear old Freddy. As with any of Freddy’s tales of adventure, the re-telling of each tale washed down with rotgut brandy by a roaring fire leads to different endings. Who knows if the one in which you control Freddy for is the real story or just a variation on the original?

Part the Seconde: Foul Mouth Freddy Speed through the ****ing Forest

Introduction

B*****ks! Freddy knew he was late, really bl**dy late. If only it hadn’t taken so long searching the bl**dy pox ridden town. Ah well, couldn’t be helped and the night on the p*** was well worth it. Now it was just a quick ride through the woods and across the bridge and he’d be back at camp. Easy as ****ing pie.

Unbeknownst to Freddy, due to the Albion Army camp being under quarantine and most of the soldiers being preoccupied, the local Dark Elven guerrillas (or Bl***y B*****d Bandits as Freddy calls them) have stepped up their presence and are now patrolling the forest looking to relieve anyone of their valuables and capture prisoners for ransom to aid in their fight against the Ferach occupying their homeland. Adding further to Freddy’s woes the Provosts, who have previously been concentrating on keeping soldiers in the camp, have had to turn their attention to keeping the Guerrillas away from the camp.

Map and Set Up

This game of Flintloque uses an Alternative Armies scenario method known as 'steeplechase' in which the characters involved are randomised as is the terrain for the game which is removed / added to during play. While Freddy himself (and Sheer Guard, if he found him) are set, the forces of the opposing player are random and are put into play as they 'pop up' during the course of the game.

The initial gaming table is made up of three 'tiles' each of 60cm length and 60cm width (roughly two foot square), these are laid out and any scenic items on them are rolled for before play begins (see special rules below). As soon as Freddy (or the last of any of his allies) moves on to the third tile the first tile is removed. All terrain and opposing miniatures who were on the first tile are removed from play at this point (this includes any characters who have lost consciousness or died). As soon as a tile is removed simply create another using the rules below to add to the end of the initial three tiles. During the scenario do this again for a fifth and finally a sixth tile. This means that Freddy has to cross a total of six tiles of enemy infested terrain to win the scenario. If an opposing character passes from their tile of origin and remains in play before Freddy moves off the last laid tile then they continue in pursuit.

The initial set up of three tiles should be made using the special rules below and Freddy should be placed within 5cm of the starting edge of the first terrain tile.

Game Length

The game lasts until Freddy either escapes off the sixth tile or breathes his last breath on the dusty Catalucian ground.

Scenario Forces

Foul Mouth Freddy (on a Horse no less)
Veteran Orc Sergeant.
Skill: Loud and Foul Mouth - Freddy has a coarse tongue and uses it often and well, In melee all mortal enemies suffer a -2 to their melee roll when fighting him.
Trait: Daisy Roots – Due to the size of his large previously-owned-by-an-Ogre boots Freddy gets +1 Impact when he wins a melee.
Flaw: Sauce – As per the Flintloque rulebook.

If Freddy managed to get Sheer Guard in the first scenario then he gets a 10% bonus to movement (rounding down) on top of the normal Light Horse movement rates as Sheer Guard is a well above average horse. If he didn’t then it’s assumed he has managed to pick up a mount in the outskirts of Burrow Port. However, Burrow Port being as it is in these times of war, it might not be the ideal mount to be affecting an escape on. Roll 1D10 and check the Catalucian Theatre Mounts Statistics table (5025 Flintloque: War in Catalucia p. 84), where 1 = Light Horse, 2 = Heavy Horse etc. If a 10 is rolled then against all the odds when leaving the town Freddy stumbles upon none other than Sheer Guard, clever bugger must have gotten away from those b****y Dark Elves all on his own.

During his flight from the town Freddy has also managed to lay his hands on a standard carbine on top of any weapons he found in Burrow Port during the first scenario. Any weapons he did pick up are assumed to have been reloaded before this scenario begins.

Also, inspired by sheer bl***y mortal peril Freddy gains the 'Load on the Trot' skill for this scenario. This means he may fire any of his weapons at a Run / Gallop speed with no penalty and may also reload all pistols and carbines in one turn on horseback if moving at a Trot or less.

Scenario Special Rules

Random Generator

Roll a D100 when prompted and place the resulting forces in the required place on the table.

01-25. A small band of Bl***y B*****d Bandits have spotted Freddy and more importantly his loot. 4 Dark Elf Guerrillas (Average, Raw, Raw, Raw) armed with Dark Elf Musketoons.
26-50. Some of the Bl****y B*****d Bandit leaders have been made aware of Freddy’s flight through their countryside. 3 Dark Elf Guerrillas (Average, Average, Raw) armed with Dark Elf Musketoons.
51-75. The Bl***y B*****d Bandits take up pursuit of Freddy and his loot! 2 Mounted Dark Elf Guerrillas (Experienced, Average) armed with swords and Gutter Pistols (5027 Grapeshotte p.66). The mount are Light Horses.
75-90. The ****ing Provosts ! 1 Mounted Average Ogre Provost Corporal on horseback, armed with an Ogre Big Bessie (Grapeshotte p.76). His mount is a Rhino (5026 Flintloque Death in the Snow p.86)
91-100. The full might of the Provost Corps is in the area. 1 Raw Elite Ogre Provost Lieutenant, armed with a sword and an Ogre pistol (5027 Grapeshotte p76). He is accompanied by 2 Average Corporals armed with standard carbines.

Terrain Tiles and Set Up

Each tile is set up as follows. Firstly roll for its type:

D10 Roll

1-7. Grass land tile (Flat with no natural rough or wet terrain)
8. Heavy Going tile (As above except +2 on each scenic item roll for each quarter)
9. Hilly tile (the whole tile has a natural slope upward from entry point, which means a reduction in all uphill movement of 20%, and an increase of 20% in all downhill movement)
10. River tile (this tile has a shallow stream, 5cm wide, running over it, this can be forded by mounted characters as Difficult Terrain, but not by characters on foot. There is a narrow wooden bridge in the centre of the tile spanning the water, wide enough for two mounted miniatures abreast)

Once the tile type has been rolled for and placed it is divided into four quarters and a scenic features roll made for each quarter. Each scenic feature rolled is placed on the table by Freddy’s player anywhere inside that quarter. A quarter can hold more than one scenic feature if required (fences, rivers etc).

D10 Roll
1-3. No Scenic Feature
4. Patch of Rough Terrain 5cm wide and 10cm long.
5. Three bushes placed within 3cm of each other.
6. Four Trees placed within 5cm of each other.
7. A length of fence (counts as low wall) between 5cm and 20cm long with one 90 degree turn.
8. Small Pool (irregular no wider than 10cm and no longer than 5cm) cannot be crossed, must be ridden around.
9. Small Building (foot print of no more than 8cm square). This must be ridden around.
10. Roll twice again on this table.

Once the scenic features are placed on each quarter of the tile then the player opposing Freddy rolls again for each quarter and on a roll of 5 or more he gets to roll on the Random Forces Generator (above) and places the resulting troops anywhere within 5cm of the edges of that quarter and within 3cm of each other. They may then move and act when activated as normal.

Freddy’s Loot

During this ride Freddy will, most likely, have the odds heavily stacked against him. Hopefully Freddy has a few items in his possession which can make things go a lot smoother for him.

Trinkets – Freddy can drop a trinket to attempt to dissuade pursuit from any bandit. A D10 is rolled for each bandit within 45cm of Freddy to see if their greed outweighs the need to catch Freddy. If a 6 or higher is rolled they head straight to where the trinket was dropped and spend one turn looking for it. This can affect more than one bandit, if this is the case they are assumed to be scrabbling for the loot amongst themselves.

There are some modifiers depending on the experience of the bandit.

Character is Raw +1
Character is Experienced -1
Character is Elite -2

Rotgut Brandy – Can be used in two ways. Firstly it can be used as an explosive as per the rules in the Demon Drinke article mentioned above. It is treated as an Elf Fyre grenade. Alternatively Freddy, well used to a bit of Dutch courage on long campaigns, can drink it to restore 1D3 wounds.

Heirlooms – Heirlooms work in exactly the same way as trinkets but the bandits get no roll to resist the lure. Heirlooms also work on Provosts but a roll must be made as per trinkets affecting bandits.

The Busby – If Freddy is wearing the Busby there is a chance that any Provosts that are encountered will actually defend Freddy as they believe him to be a Catatonic messenger relaying a message to the camp. Roll a D10 when a Provost section is generated, on a roll of 7 or more control of that section passes to Freddy’s player.

Scenario Notes

The unusual mechanics for this Flintloque scenario are based on Gavin Syme’s “Cross Country Canine Chase” published on Orcs in the Webbe back in 2008.

If you would like to know a bit more about the Ogre Provosts and their efforts to ‘dissuade’ deserters you can try out Simon Evans classic Flintloque scenario, “Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are” also found on Orcs in the Webbe.

Miniatures for your Collection

VLE09 Foul Mouth Freddy
This code is limited to only 250 packs before the master and molds are destroyed. Supplied with numbered insert containing optional rules and uniform guide. This ninth code in the Very Limited Edition range is, like the others, limited to 250 numbered packs only.

Foul Mouth Freddy is currently available now from Alternative Armies webstore.

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Notes

This article was originaly published on Alternative Armies' content portal, Barking Irons, and then Orcs in the Webbe, for more free OITW content go to this link.

Tony  

Avro Anson

I was given this selection of books and magazine articles by my Brother-in-Law who regularly trawls through traditional or general auctions. The books and magazines cover a little known type - The Avro Anson.

This is not a subject that I would have thought of interest, however I was pleasantly surprised to find that I thoroughly enjoyed the content. Thank you Bob.

Tony

Foul Mouth Freddy Scours the ****ing Town

Illustration by Edward Jackson

Foul Mouth Freddy Scours the ****ing Town

Part one of a three-part linked scenario written by me with additional content by Craig Andrews

Not content with sitting on his a** during a total camp quarantine, the erstwhile anti-hero Foul Mouth Freddy decides to head into the local town of Burrow Port for a night of drinking and debauchery.

Will he find what he has lost and make it back to camp in time for roll call?

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For nearly ten bl**dy days the bl**dy camp had been bl**dy quarantined, no one in and no one out. B***dy Bunny Flu had sent everyone into a frenzy. It was like Rabbit Flu but with smaller and more irritating leaps. The officers were snugly ensconced in the only stone building in the camp with, according to the logs, no one but each other for company. The twelve Catalonian Dark Elf ‘seamstresses’ who had come into the camp just before the quarantine had seemingly vanished and were not, again according to the logs, also in the only stone building in the camp. B******s! The bl***y foot soldiers were bored, so bored that they had even given up cheating each other at dice and cards. Foul Mouth Freddy was going stir crazy, not only was he bored ****less but he had no beer, no wine and no hooch to call his own. The brandy cask he’d been saving for just such an occasion had been bl**dy commandeered by the bl**dy officers and was no doubt helping ‘loosen up’ the senoritas who weren’t there. S**t! Well, bugger this, tonight Freddy was going off camp to the in-land slum of Burrow Port to get well and truly ****ing ‘bladdered’ on cheap ****ing ale and fiery brandy. Freddy needed a plan...

Pickets had been set around the encampment and had been ordered to shoot anyone trying to get out (or in for that matter). However, all that changed when a mounted messenger charged in with orders from the Catatonic Cardinal, His Holiness Jose Marianjo. Since then other troopers had been riding in and out on a regular basis. Most of the billeted Orcs in camp thought the quarantine was going to be lifted. Freddy knew there was no bl**dy chance. The surgeons wanted to be sure, and needed a full week with no new outbreaks of hopping. But some of the ****ing idiots in the 62nd had only yesterday leapt up with the feigned disease as it was their turn on the latrines. All the red coats in the camp now had at least seven days to go all because the South S***ing Mordor wanted a few days light duties. B******s!

As the sun set, Freddy hatched a cunning plan: nick the regimental coronet, an old Elven Busby pinned to the regimental standard, steal a horse and gallop out impersonating a Papal Messenger. He’d be in Burrow Port by midnight, ****ing ****ed as a slippery eel by two and still have time to nip into the Goblin Pleasure Palace before heading back to camp for roll call in the morning.

Stealing the Busby was easy enough, and Freddy took the first horse he found in the stables. Within minutes he was saluting the pickets and riding West at full gallop, the Elven Busby pulled down low so no one could recognise him. The journey proved uneventful due to his horse’s speed and soon he was jumping down and looking to have his first jug of ale. He quickly hid the Busby in a hayloft and allowed the horse to munch its way through some discarded hay. As he drank deeply of his first tankard he had a nagging thought that the horse really had been a beauty, fast too, but that thought quickly drowned in the full bodied ale of Burrow Port.

For those readers of a more delicate disposition, I will draw a veil over the next few hours and even those of you with a more active and debauched imagination will only be just scratching the surface as to what really went on. The only restraint shown by our erstwhile antihero was directly related to the number of coins he had managed to steal and cheat from his fellow soldiers back at camp and a couple of gullible Dwarves he met early on in the night’s activities.

Time passed...

The morning sun rose over Burrow Port to find Freddy laying face down in a street sewer, ears full of drumming, his head full of flashing stars and his crotch full of lice itching more than poison ****ing ivy. As he looked up at the rising sun he realised that he would have to make ****ing good time to get back to camp before roll call! As his somewhat addled mind became clearer he saw he had no Busby, no horse and very little recollection of where he had hidden them. With a suddenness similar to horse s**t hitting the ground he realised he had seen that beautiful mount before – it was the colonel’s personal mount, Sheer Guard, the most prized (and expensive) mount in all of Algarvey! S**t!

Campaign Objectives

Foul Mouth Freddy has to get back to camp before noon roll call by whatever means, or he is going to be in very serious trouble. Now the choices before him are a bit mixed. Before leaving town he can try to find the Busby and/or Sheer Guard. He can always pinch another horse instead, but the Busby is his passport back through the pickets without losing his ****ing stripes (again). However, if he does use another horse and the colonel finds out that Freddy was responsible for his favourite equine going missing – a good horse whipping would be the least of his worries.

Any loot Freddy may find, (when I say find, I mean pick up – well when I say pick up I actually mean, pinch) along the way may even help him bribe the pickets on the way back into camp. They do like a nice bit of loot or a bottle or two of the local rotgut brandy!

So the campaign breaks down into three scenarios:

1. Foul Mouth Freddy Scours the ****ing Town – In which Freddy searches the town of Burrow Port looking for loot, an Elven hat and a prize horse.2. Foul Mouth Freddy Speeds through the ****ing Forest – In which Freddy must race across the countryside on horseback past some local bandits and the ever vigilante Provosts.3. Fouls Mouth Freddy Sneaks into the ****ing Camp – In which Freddy must enter the quarantined camp, return the items he took and get to his tent before roll call at 12 Noon.
Veteran Orc Sergeant.
Freddy starts the scenario unarmed as he didn’t think to bring his musket out boozing with him.
Skill: Loud and Foul Mouth - Freddy has a coarse tongue and uses it often and well, In melee all mortal enemies suffer a -2 to their melee roll when fighting him. Undead are however unaffected. 
Trait: Daisy Roots – Due to the size of his large previously-owned-by-an-Ogre boots Freddy gets +1 Impact when he wins in melee. 
Flaw: Sauce – As per Flintloque 3rd Edition Rules.
Experienced Dwarf
Bottle (Small Improvised Weapon)
Dwarf MkII Musket (Unloaded at start of melee)
Skill: Rapport: Hans Prevail
Trait: Short Leg Jig (DITS p. 54)
Flaw: Bier Tap Blitz (DITS p. 54)
Average Dwarf
Bier Keg (Large Improvised Weapon)
Skill: Rapport: Rolf Herr Strict
Regular Ogre
Trait: Brutal Beast (DITS p.55)
Experienced Dark Elf
Sword
Skill: Rapier Fast
Experienced Dark Elf
Dagger
Trait: Jamminess
This code is limited to only 250 packs before the master and molds are destroyed. Supplied with numbered insert containing optional rules and uniform guide. This ninth code in the Very Limited Edition range is, like the others, limited to 250 numbered packs only.

Roll call takes place 30 turns after the campaign begins so be sure to keep track of how many turns go by in each scenario.

Notes on Playing these Scenarios

Despite the detail included in the scenarios below each one takes about an hour to play through. Don’t forget that Freddy is against the clock to get back to camp, some tough decisions must be made. He will not get all the loot, he will not defeat all the bandits, he may not even get a chance to put everything back as it should be. The scenarios play well solitaire or with someone controlling the forces against dear old Freddy. There should be enough time in any one gaming session to play each scenario twice with players swapping control of Freddy. As with any of Freddy’s tales of adventure the re-telling of each tale washed down with rotgut brandy by a roaring fire leads to different endings. Who knows if the one you control Freddy for is the real story or just a variation on the original?

Part the Firste: Foul Mouth Freddy Scours the ****ing Town

Introduction

Freddy has to search the town of Burrow Port trying to find both the Busby and the prize horse Sheer Guard and some trinkets and beverages to help ease his passage back into camp wouldn’t go a miss either.

Unbeknownst to Freddy, the Busby was actually picked up by some street urchins, who then sold it to a cross-dressing Todoroni who regularly appears on the stage in Burrow Port. The Todoroni’s wardrobe (including the Busby in question) is being guarded by a huge and dumb witted Ogre, with an IQ even lower than his vocabulary (and if you knew how few words he could actually speak you would realise just how low this is).

Not having been tied up well (or in fact, at all) Sheer Guard did not long remain in the barn he had been left in and during the course of the night has been acquired by a couple of shady Dark Elf horse traders who are even now getting ready to move South with their prize.

Scenario Forces

Foul Mouth Freddy

Map and Setup

The town of Burrow Port is not that large and to represent it for this scenario you need ten buildings laid out on your gaming table. You can roll randomly for placement if you wish but I suggest laying them out in such a way that the town looks believable. Maybe have a well in the centre in a small square, a church nearby if you have it. One edge of the table is the docks and can be laid out as such if you have the scenery, maybe even with a boat in port.

Freddy starts in a randomly determined street and is the only miniature on the table at the start of the scenario.

Scenario Objective

Freddy has to get back to camp; he can leave the town of Burrow Port at any time he is in the streets and not being pursued by anyone. However, if he is to make it back successfully he’s going to need some loot and booze to bribe people along the way not to mention Sheer Guard and the Busby if he doesn't want things to get difficult later on.

Game Length

The game ends when Freddy decides to leave the town of Burrow Port. He can do this at any time he is in the streets and not being pursued.

Special Rules

As is common in small towns such as Burrow Port all the buildings are unlocked. Each turn he starts on the streets with no active enemy models within Double March range, Freddy can move to any building he wishes. Simply place him outside the building he wishes to enter and roll on the Random Street Encounters table below. If there are any figures on the table in pursuit when this happens they are held off table in reserve in case a Hot Pursuit result is rolled.

Random Street Encounters (1D10)

1-3. Urchins - Freddy stumbles across a group of local Urchins. Roll 1D10. On a roll of 1-2 they manage to distract Freddy and take a randomly determined item (weapons, loot or even the busby) that he is carrying. On a roll of 3-8 they call him some less than flattering names and scatter away into the streets. On a roll of 9 or 10 Freddy manages to persuade the ****ing little b******s that helping him is beneficial to their health and they tell him about one of the unexplored buildings. Roll for a randomly selected unexplored building as if Freddy had entered it (as per the scenario rules below). After this he enters the building he chooses. This takes 1 game turn and should be marked down on the roster.

4-6. The streets are deserted, he enters the building he chose. This takes 1 game turn and should be marked down on the roster.

7-9. Hot Pursuit – Any individual or group which has survived Freddy leaving their building is placed within Quick March range of him on the streets and a scuffle ensues. Choose one randomly if more than one has been discovered (this will make more sense after you read the entering a building rules below). No turns are marked down for his move but combat begins immediately on the streets. Freddy can, if he wishes, still enter the building he moved to but any chance of sneaking is gone. Any pursuers’ will follow him into the building adding to the mayhem.

10. Roll twice again on this table.

As mentioned Freddy can escape Hot Pursuit by making sure at the end of the turn he is more than Double March distance (using his pursuer’s statistics) away from any enemy and not in line of sight.

Entering a Building

When Freddy enters a building, roll 1D10 and consult the table below to determine what’s inside. If you roll a number you’ve rolled before simply roll again. When a scuffle is indicated you can either play inside the building if your scenery is to scale and has removable roofs, or alternatively using floorplans or tiles on a separate part of your gaming table.

1-5. Someone’s house - Whilst not finding the Busby or dear old Sheer Guard, Freddy has never been one to let a good opportunity go to waste and may search the house for loot.

The Loot Table (Roll 1D10)

1-3 - He finds a Small Trinket.

4-6 - He finds a Bottle of Rotgut Brandy.

7-8 - He finds a Family Heirloom – Roll 1D10: 1-3 Worth 2 Trinkets, 4-6 Worth 4 Trinkets, 7-8 Worth 6 Trinkets. 9-10 Worth 8 Trinkets.

9 - A weapon! Roll 1 D10, on a 1-8 he finds a Standard Pistol or on a 9-10 he finds an Exquisite Sword.

10 - Roll twice again on this table.

Mark down what Freddy finds on his roster sheet, the amount of loot he finds will greatly affect his chances of victory later in the campaign!

When searching for loot there is a chance he will wake up the owner of the house. Roll 1D10, on a roll of 8 or more the owner of the house wakes up. For every item of loot Freddy is carrying add +1 to this roll to represent the jangling of his overflowing pockets. If the owner wakes up then use the example section rosters in Flintloque: War in Catalucia (WIC), Flintloque: Death in the Snow (DITS) or Flintloque: Bier and Bones (B&B) to determine the owner’s statistics (e.g. I’m using WIC, there are 6 example sections. I roll 1D6 and get a 3, the 3rd example section is Orcs, there are 10 Orcs in this section so I roll a D10, I get a 2 so the owner of the house is 'Arry Grimm, an Experienced Orc.) The owner is put in play 1D10 cms away from Freddy and rolls for activation as normal next turn.

6. The Bar – Freddy has stumbled into one of the drinking establishments of Burrow Port. Freddy must roll for Temptation as per the rules found in Alternative Armies 2nd Distractions and Asides supplement which can be found in the files section of The Notables Yahoo Group and also under the Flintloque section of Orcs in the Webbe. He can, if he so wishes, swap any two Small Trinkets he has on him for a bottle of Rotgut Brandy. Freddy reckons the Family Heirlooms are too well known within the small town to be swapped (but might be very useful later on for bribes).

7. The Disgruntled Dwarves – Freddy has burst in on the two irate Dwarves he swindled last night. They have been up all night busily drinking and planning what they would do if they bumped into Freddy again. And now they have...

Rolf Herr Strict

Hans Prevail

Both Dwarves start the game suffering the effects of last night’s drinking, to represent this you should roll on the tipple table found on Distractions & Asides 2: The Demon Drinke available from the files section of The Notables Yahoo Group and also under the Flintloque section of Orcs in the Webbe.

If playing Solo then use the Aggressive column of the Solo Aggression Table for the Dwarves. Freddy can fight them or, being faster than your average Dwarf, can run away. If he manages to defeat the Dwarves he can take any of their weapons he wants and also roll twice on the loot table above.

8. The Goblin Pleasure Palace – Freddy has stumbled back into one of his stops from last night. Due to his popularity with the ‘ladies’ (and not just because of the size of his purse) he is immediately surrounded by 1D4 ‘ladies’ wanting a repeat performance. Each ‘lady’ attaches themselves to Freddy reducing his movement by 1 right column shift to a minimum of Half Step. A ‘lady’ can only be removed from Freddy in one of three ways; firstly they can be bribed off with a trinket or heirloom (note that it’s 1 heirloom per ‘lady’ regardless of its value, or hers for that matter). Secondly a 'lady' will leave in fright after Freddy takes part in a round of melee combat with any enemy character, for that round he is at -2 per ‘lady’ attached as he defends their ‘honour’. Thirdly, Freddy can take up the challenge... Roll two D10s, one for the ‘lady’s’ expectations and one for Freddy’s ‘actions’. If Freddy’s actions are higher than the ‘ladies’ expectations she leaves him be, sated for a little while. It takes one full movement turn for this action. And ever being the gent, Freddy can attempt this on up to two ‘ladies’ per turn.

9. The Busby – The Busby is in the possession of Lula Bella De Cotti, the famed cross dressing Todoroni singer. Lula is fast asleep not having to be on stage until the evening. However, Dirg, Hir* Ogre bodyguard (and rumoured special friend) is very very awake and not at all happy about being confronted in the early hours of the morning by a uniformed Orc who smells like a Krautian Bier Festival’s latrine at closing time. The Busby is on the far side of the room past Lurg, it is a special action to pick up and stow the Busby.

*Hir being the gender neutral pronoun for people such as Lula.

Dirg

If playing solo, Dirg will attempt to move into melee with Freddy every turn and will pursue him into the streets if Freddy goes for the snatch and grab.

10. Sheer Guard – Freddy has found the Dark Elf horse traders’ hideout! The room should be laid out as a stables (bales of hay, horse’s enclosures, etc). There are four horses as well as Sheer Guard stabled here. There is also a pitchfork (+2 in Melee) next to the door Freddy enters by. The Dark Elves, celebrating their find, also partook of a drink or two last night and as such they start the scenario asleep. Freddy can attempt to sneak past the sleeping traders. He may move at no faster than Half Step and each turn must roll to see if the Dark Elves wake up. Roll 1D10 in the Initiative Phase, the Elves wake up on a result of 10 or more. If Freddy has any ladies in tow they add +2 each to the roll. Also, each turn Freddy’s alcohol drenched form remains in the stable the smell gets worse and worse causing the horses to become agitated, making more noise and adding a cumulative modifier of +2 to the die roll every turn. Once awake the Elves can move and fight as normal. You should roll for the after effects of the Demon Drinke for them as per the rules mentioned above.

Oscar Herbiner

Ivan Boredego

If playing Solo then use the Defensive column of the Solo Aggression Table for the Dark Elves once awake. Freddy can either dispatch the Elves first or make a run for Sheer Guard. It takes Freddy 10cm of movement to mount Sheer Guard and he must fight at a -2 penalty if attacked in melee that turn. If he escapes from the stables without killing the Elves they will mount up and then pursue him and may show up on the Hot Pursuit result of the Random Street Encounters table from now on.

Miniatures for your Collection

VLE09 Foul Mouth Freddy

Foul Mouth Freddy is currently available now from Alternative Armies webstore.

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This article was originally published on Alternative Armies' content portal, Barking Irons, and later Orcs in the Webbe, where you can find more adventures for Foul Mouth Freddy, for details go to this link.

I will post part two Foul Mouth Freddy Speed through the ****ing Forest and part three Foul Mouth Freddy Sneaks past the ****ing Guards later this month.

Tony

Pax Bochemannica Re-Launch!

Image taken from the Maveryc Facebook page to illustrate this post

I am greatly looking forward to the planned re-launch of S.P.Q.Orc - Pax Bochemannica, a game that sees huge Orc Nomans pitting their superior strength and equipment against tribes of under equipped and height disadvantaged Boche Halflings. For full details go to this Facebook page (and - yes you can access it even if you are not one of the many millions of facebook-ers, like wot I am).

I have already committed to a Pax Bochemannica themed Blogging month starting on the 1st of June and hopefully running throughout the whole month. Stay tuned for some much anticipated goodies.

For those new to this pseudo Fantasy-Historical game details can be found here. More details can be found on this Blog by 'clicking' on the Pax Bochemannica label on the right or here.

Tony

Joseph Lock

Yesterday Sue and I had to clear out the attic as we were experiencing an overflow issue from the main cold water tank. While moving boxes from one side of the loft to the other I came across this 'scratch-built' model of a narrow gauge locomotive.

Joseph Lock is built to the scale of 7mm to the foot (O Gauge) and runs on PECO 16.5mm (HO/OO) 'Crazy Track', The engine is based on the Festiniog engine - Prince and uses a Hornby Smokey Joe 0-4-0 mechanism.

The model was built over fifteen years ago and has featured in Narrow Lines, the newsletter of the 7mm Narrow Gauge Association.

Construction is plastic card and plastic rod with most items being scratch-built, for example the smokebox is a series of metal washed wrapped in plastic card, the chimney is a rawplug and the sandboxes are sections of propelling pencil barrels.

Painting was built up over a 'rattle can' satin Black with the Dark Green from Tamiya and the lining from a standard gauge railway set.

The nameplate is constructed from Letraset rub-down black lettering over white plastic card to replicate the enamel nameplates that were used on these engines in the early days of the Festiniog Railway.

The little engine is named after my late Father-in-Law Joseph Lock.

Now I just need to securely pack it in a new cardboard box and place it back in the attic.

Tony

The Gnome Bakery for Panzerfauste

Earlier this year I was commissioned to sculpt a couple of themed buildings/terrain pieces for a game called Panzerfause, Actually Panzerfauste Reborn a project which is being led by Steve Blease (the original writer) and Rob Alderman (A close friend and key personality in the world of Alternative Fantasy). I immediately agreed and sculpted a Gnome House and this Gnome Bakery. What you see here is one of the very first test castings painted by Steve Blease.

I am very envious as I am also looking forward to painting up one of these resin models and the earlier Gnome House. Maybe I'll get a casting the next time I meet up with Rob?

Steve sent me these images earlier this week and after getting permission from Steve and Rob, I have uploaded the images to my Blog.

The Gnome Bakery is Building 2 of an initial range of just two models, but after Rob and Steve saw the masters, I was quickly commissioned to build another and then another. Details of which will have to wait for now.

I promise that I will post details once I have the all clear.

Steve has done a great job of painting this little model and I once again thank him (and Rob) for allowing me to post these images.

Full details of Panzerfauste Reborn can be found here. There is even a Facebook Page!

The next image shows the model during construction - the Bakery is still awaiting the tiled roof and groundwork to be completed, but the Flintloque Orc gives some idea of the size of this model.

Finally, the nearly finished master, just before I delivered it to Rob Alderman.

This model and the earlier Gnome House was sculpted following discussions with Rob about how he saw the game developing. It is fair to say that I have had a great deal of autonomy in the style and 'feel' of these pieces. Looking back, I think they are very much inspired by the SnapDragon range of resin buildings.

I hope that you like them.

Although designed and sculpted to accompany the New Panzerfauste game, I am confident that this and the others in the range will be of use to many gamers.

Thank you Rob. I have greatly enjoyed this project and look forward to more.

Tony

Building Number Three - part three

I present to you the finished Building.....

Del Boy Trotter's Hovel.

For more details of the build, please go to this link and this link.

The model is intended to go with my Pax Bochemannica collection and you can see three of the Boche Halflings in these images. I have my own back-story to my particular group of Halflings, which relate to a group of 'down-at-heel' Boche lead by one Del Boy Trotter. Del Boy's Hovel is festooned with 'knocked-off Gear' and various 'items for sale'.

I couldn't resist the SALE sign.

You can also see the Trotter's totem stuck into the thatch; a Bronze Boar, which makes it clear that Trotter's is open for business.

Cushty.....

I hope that you enjoy this bit of fun.

Tony

My Latest Toy!

For the last couple of years I have been talking about buying a bike to ride back and forth to work and at long last I have finally gotten around to it.....

I don't need a racer or a mountain bike as I can take a scenic route to work that is mainly cycle paths and through the main park, there is even a short stint alongside Droitwich Canal.

I chose a folding bicycle with gears very similar to a bike that I had as a young boy as this means that I can, if I need to, have Sue pick me up in the car.

This is the first brand new bike I have owned since I was a teenager (as I have tended to make-do with secondhand or hand-me-downs) and I have very much enjoyed 'getting back into the saddle'.

It has the added benefit of helping to keep me fit!

Tony