Monday 5 November 2012

Am I a Genuine Wargamer?


Copied from Big Lee's Miniature Adventure, see this post 

To genuinely call yourself a Wargamer, then you must have done most or all of the following:

* Spent at least £500 on figures / tanks - and you get extra kudos for every £500 you've spent
Easily £500  (1 points)
* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block - several times
Yes, a regiment of Napoleonic British with bayonets at The Wargames Holiday Centre (1 point)
* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again
Yes  (1 point)
* Bought an army off EBay
Never although I have picked up figures (0 points)
* Sold an army on EBay
Never sold one (0 points)
* Spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once
..or never! 
No (0 point)
* Tried several different periods and genres
Yes (1 point)
* Dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height
Yes - More than once so awarded myself (2 points)
* Lost a battle on the last throw of the dice
No (0 point) 
* Made at least one enemy for life
No (0 point)
* Had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table
No (0 point)
* Thrown a dice across a room
Many, many, many times (1 point)
* Rebased an army for a different rule set
Yes - some 15mm ACW union troops (1 point)
* Inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent
No (0 point)
* Suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision
Yes - the first time I ever games ECW. (1 point)
* Joined a wargamers club
Yes, twice (or is it three times)  (1 point)
* Bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted
Yes - but I am trying to do something about it (1 point)
* Been to a wargamers show
Loads (I should get more points for the number I have attended over the years) (1 point)
* Have more dice than is logical or necessary to own - and have used most of them
Yes - many more than is reasonable (1 point)
* Have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates
Yes (1 point)

And now some extra questions....

* You have reference books on each period / army you play
Yes (1 point)
* Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules for a totally different period, scale or ruleset to the one you're playing at that moment
Not really, I try NOT to be a rules lawyer (0 points)
* You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you've spent on the hobby
I plead the fifth! (0 points)
* You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the post
Yes (1 point)
* You have joined a re-enactment society (5 points for this one!)
No, but once acted as an extra in a Viking TV film (0 points)
* You have played in an unsuitable venue 
Not sure (0 point) 
* You continue to search for the perfect Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn't actually exist).
No to any of the above - but Yes to Sci-Fi (1 point)
* For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain periods.  And think them far superior to the original author's efforts.
OK my first 1/2 point! (1/2 point)
* You have returned from a wargames show and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.
No (0 points)
* You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look.
No (0 points)
* You have made your own wargames scenery.
Yes, loads and loads and loads (1 point)
* You have reached a painting 'wall' 
Yes (1 point)
* You have lost - and regained - your wargaming mojo.
Yes, but always regained it (1 point)
* You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have £200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer.
It is more the huge collection of magazines with me, so yes (1 point)
* You have done armies in different scales for the same period 
Yes (1 point)
* You have jealously coveted someone else's troops.
Yes (1 point)
* You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else's paint job 
Yes, but always secretly and NEVER to their face (1 point)
* You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge. 
Yes! (1 point)
* You have contradicted someone elses' trivia - demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.
I am sure I must have - sorry (1 point)
* You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else's figures on the floor). 
I once tried modelling some white foam hills for a Napoleonic game only to have thousands of white beads all over the place, so I suggest yes (1 point)
* You have cheered when an opponent's dice lets them down at a critical point (I have literally danced in front of someone when he failed a morale roll) 
I would be surprised if there was any gamer who had not at some time done this (1 point)
* You have lied to your partner about going gaming.  "Mothers' not very well - just popping around to see her.  I'll be back in about - oh - seven hours".
No (0 points)
* You have lied to an attractive woman (man) about your hobby.  
No (0 point)
* You have made an opponent cry.  It doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though.
No (0 points)
* You have painted the same army in the same scale more than once (Monty, you dawg!)  
No (0 points)
* You have reference books on armies you haven't even got.
Yes but I call it my library - and you can never have too many books (1 point)
* You have bought figures for a period you have never and will never play - because they were cheap.
I am sure I have - but cannot recall them  (1 point)
* You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a dice that has let you down. 
Not sure but I will say yes as I have gamed long enough to know that I must have done it once (1 point)
* You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities
Yes (1 point)
* Your book collection is almost all war and wargames related
No - I mean Yes (model railways! count as model related!) (1 point)
* You critique 'war' movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical accuracy.
Yes (1 point)
* You spend car/train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.
Yes (1 point)

35 1/2 Points - Now what exactly does that mean?

Tony

6 comments:

Laughing Ferret said...

35 points out of 50? 70% .. not a high score, but solidly passing. I'm afraid to say, you're a wargamer.
;)

Rob Alderman said...

Oh it's a bit of fun! I got 41 out of 50!

Never knew you did that much gaming Tony, loads and loads!

My worst one was doing something bad, I accidentally dropped an old friend's 20 year collection of 15mm fantasy undead, snapping all of their needle width legs, impossible to fix... I was about 11 and terrified that he would get really angry! Luckily, he was miffed, but understood that I was incredibly sorry!

A nice bit of fun, but I;d rather not remember that memory any time soon!!!

Cheers
Rob

Rob Alderman said...

Oh it's a bit of fun! I got 41 out of 50!

Never knew you did that much gaming Tony, loads and loads!

My worst one was doing something bad, I accidentally dropped an old friend's 20 year collection of 15mm fantasy undead, snapping all of their needle width legs, impossible to fix... I was about 11 and terrified that he would get really angry! Luckily, he was miffed, but understood that I was incredibly sorry!

A nice bit of fun, but I;d rather not remember that memory any time soon!!!

Cheers
Rob

Tony said...

Hi Rob,

With 40 years of gaming there have been many different scales, genres and rule sets.

Tony

Gavin Syme (GBS) said...

Love this post Tony. Copied it and put it on my TTWG blogger blog. Good fun and an hour well spent.

GBS

Tea in Thailand said...

Ha! Love this! And there are so many comments I was thinking...'that's an understatement!' :P

It's a good job they don't give you points for the amount of lead/magazines you have or wed be in the millions!

xxxx